This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
