So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
