the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
