Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
