OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
