I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
