I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
