i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
