That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
