I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
love makes seman taste better
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Randomize
