just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
