Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
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