I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
