have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
