If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
