there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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