toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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