so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
