"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
