its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
