Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
