apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
