I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
