as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
