Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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