it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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