I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
