Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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