it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
