And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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