i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
