im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
