38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
