Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
