We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
