Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You took a bar mat shot.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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