Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
