Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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