shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
