At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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