It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
