idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
