lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
