can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
