Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
