bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
