I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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