this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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