If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
