I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
